Jia You Go Go 2007!

Bye Bye 2006! Happy 2007! Gambate Everybody! May all my family and friends be happy! Let's make 2007 an even better year! WOHOO!

A Wonderful 2006

Another year has come to an end but this year has been one of the best one I've ever had in years. And our year end office closure is giving me some refuge from my hectic worklife and is giving me some time to sit back and relak... :). I am feeling strangely contented and I haven't felt like this for ages. It's like things are falling into place and I don't have to go around rushing like a mad ant trying to do tons of stuff because I feel that time is running out. Now I'm going to go the Ozzie way... Chill and be cool. :D. Plus, I will take up me piano lessons again next year. Yippee!

The past 2 weeks have been super crazy. Rushing for choir... spending my entire weekend pao tai going caroling. And my poor chaffeur has to bring me from one place to another the whole Sunday. And work was maddening... I could hardly breathe... and just before my caroling sessions, I realise I was losing my voice... :x... But well... I got thru... so... cool... haha :). My long awaited break from choir and work has come! Friday the whole EE team went to our lead's house to BBQ. Her condo is gorgeous! And I get to see CJ after not hearing his jokes for 3mths... or something... Haha... He is now a magician wannabe. Sat was spent with my bestest girlpals at Goodwood Park (again...) having high tea and gossiping and exchanging prezzies! Then we went shopping... man... money getting drained this christmas... Today, I shall meet another group of girlpals to stay at a hotel and play board games! Hmmm... somehow when you put it down like this, it seems very oldish... Ah well... pictionary is fun! Ok.... my chaffeur is going to do cool stuff like washing his car and fish tank and read the bk i lent him over this chrismassy season... Feel abit bad :P... Hahaha. Sighs... happy :).

All in all... 2006 has been a helluva year! Thank god for letting me meet some wonderful people and pursue my dreams! MERRY CHRISTMAS and a HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2007 will be even better! Darn... late 20s....

Happy Family of Human Pigs

Yes, we work in a happy family of (self proclaimed) human pigs. When I was feeling down and depressed from stomach fluing.... My boss msged me to rest well at home even though there are big issues at work.... SBG even though said " Y do you have to be sick?!" called me later at night to apologise and said he was only joking and told me to "Stay at home tmr if I'm still not feeling well.".... much to my amusement. Master Khoo msned me to tell me to have a good rest and Sammyboy smsed me saying "Hi Miss Tan, hope you are feeling better.".... SO SWEET!

Man... I would be really sad the day I leave this place...

Girl with Stomach Flu.... and not an EE ONG (Hokkien for EE King)

" Why do you have to pick this week to have stomach flu? " SBG said.....

Sobs... I don't want to have stomach flu too. Think my super weak immune system has finally succumbed after my months of overtiring myself with work/choir/friends.... Stomach flu... something which makes you want to puke/go toilet/burp and erherm but you can't... and feeling bloated and weak... Nic says it's a virus... meaning there is nothing you can take to cure it but you have to wait for your immune system to clear out the evil guys... And I know my system is scrawny and weak, after my neglecting it for so long.... so the flu bug is taking a quote-unquote from doc - vacation around my body.

And the worse part is that I have tons of stuff to do at work which have to be handed over to SBG and SSM.... And SBG... super agitated as he already is with his own workload... is going gaga with my job stacked on top of his.... sighs... I feel bad... don't want to be sick... and i can't rest... cos' i feel horrid :(....

Christmas resolution:- Build up my health and gambate at work!!!

Ok... i go sleep... headache...

A Crabby Dinner and a Secret Admirer

Yesterday night I had crabs for dinner at a dusty little kopitiam, sitting at a table right next to a main road. Amazing. Never really experienced that before and the food is pretty good but darn unhealthy :X. Hahahaha. Well, we were treated to crabs by ssm who is leaving soon and he is kinda thanking those who have to shoulder his workload after he leaves. So after eating the dinner, cannot complain liao... have been bribed. Darn.

So it was a night at the kopitiam talking about work, life and bosses. I'm always a little skeptical when it comes to talking about work stuff with colleagues. You know... especially things that are not good. I prefer to keep quiet and observe people's reaction and thoughts... I don't know. Perhaps guys are more open when it comes to voicing their displeasure. *shrugs* For me, as long as I'm given a chance to learn... and I'm comfortable... I'm ok. But their views did open up new ideas to me... perhaps it's really time to go out and beautify my resume when I'm still young.

Anyway, on to something more frivolous, I have a secret admirer!!! Ok, not so secret since he emailed me and ask me to go out. WoHoo! Poor secret admirer... I forwarded his email to my friends and colleagues... cos' I was so excited. Never have a secret admirer before... SO EXCITING!... Ok... enough of my hua chi... :P

Worrying and Thinking Too Much...

I have tons of lines on my hands... Really... I am born a worrier. I worry about my grades, my life, my future, my work... everything. I tend to have too high expectations of myself and other ppl and end up stressing everybody. Sometimes I wonder is it because I have always been too overprotected. I live in a safe bubble where all problems and bad things will be shouldered and filtered by my parents.

So my next Q's motto will be: Work Hard, Be Independent, but let's take it easy :).

To Perth and Beyond

Wohoo! Just got back from my trip to Down Under Perth :). Yes yes... alot of ppl say it's the land of the old uncles and aunties sleeping in parks... But it's a beautiful place... and I would love to retire there... Go to the seaside everyday... sit in the park... admire the view... feel the sea breeze caress your face... It's gorgeous. And there are big patches of greenery and flowers everywhere. It's so fascinating to wait for spring and summer and see different kinds of wildflowers growing everywhere... Sighs....

And being with my daughter on this trip has been great. Cos' her ang moh is more power than mine, she's nice company and she has a ba bao dai... it has everything inside. From body moisturers, to sweets (2 different types), etc etc.... everything except face moisturers which both of us badly needed. Hahaha :)! But it was relaxing.... and there are so many birds and animals there.... I like animals =)... and greenery.

But the tv there really suxs... we watched tons of "comedy shows" ont he comedy channel... they have the normal shows like simpson etc... but then... they have "THE MAN's SHOW"... which feature the jiggety girls and the famous "GIRLS ON TRAMPOLINE", where scantily clad women bounce up and down.... me and bao stared at the screen for a while.. then burst into laughter... i mean... how lame can that be... do guys really get turned on by that?... mmmm.. Hahahahaha!

And there's this guy who msged me alot when I was Down Under... It's nice to have someone think of you all the time... :)... And whom you think about alot too. I'm happy!

Tappers End of Bond BBQ

Yup, the much anticipated end of our 3 years bond is up and this bbq is to celebrate our freedom. Even though this has given me more chances to sought for "greener" pastures... it has also made me sad... being the sentimental old fool... cos' it means that this bunch of people whom I have been working with everyday will be leaving one by one. Frankly... it has been a great 3 years. Yes... there have been worries, late nights (with pizzas), quarrels, tons of complaints (stupid sian suxs bloody hell)... but... I have made so many new friends, made so many new connections... I feel really blessed. Relationships with some people didn't really started on the right footing... but... you know... 3 years gives you enough time to really see them for who they are and well... friends need time to make and grow... But the sad thing is that some new friendships may not be blossoming cos' some people are leaving already... sighs...

Okok, enough of my mushiness... the night was great. We had our resident executive chef (in blue) and some fake assistant chefs (they just want to get to the hot whooping food first) who bbqed the night away to feed 20 hungry human pigs. We had Robertus who brought a huge cake which triggered everybody asking him - "Who's birthday?". I had my 2 bestest buddies, Kong and Leader, who brought food and whom I tried to make them mingle with my colleagues. And we had the human pigs to eat up the food.. Hahahaha. Usually... I hate crowds.. and mingling... but this night was different because after being in the same boat for 3 years, there are so many things in common to talk about... And one of the topics was flats... that I've nothing to talk about... but our age is the time where people start to form new families, get new homes :). It's nice to see people getting together and sounding happy and excited about their futures.

The bbq ended on a happy note... Everybody seemed cheerful... I spent the rest of the night till way past midnight chatting with Kong and Leader in my room, cosily airconditioned and sipping coffee. If only everyday is as happy as this one is.... :)

I think I'm falling in love... :D

This is wine, that's all too strange and strong.

I'm full of foolish songs and out my songs must pour.

So please forgive, this foolish haze I'm in.

I've never really been in love before....

Confused and Confounded Girl starting to see some light...

Warm and Fuzzy

Why do I suddenly feel so strange about this person recently? Warm and Fuzzy... when he smiles at me... :)... No wonder Robertus say I'm nuts.... I guess I'm one one walnut head.

On the Wrong Side of 25

OMG... It suddenly hit me... I'm 26....

Do you have a TARGET... -_-'''

My colleague asked me this.... then i was like -_-'''.... targets? what are targets? Targets are for bashing and shooting... I don't have targets... I only have people I like or people that I don't... I don't like to think of people as targets... So weird...

AURYTHMICS IV

YUP! Our concert on sat was super fun! It's great to be with ppl who love to sing! And during rehearsal, everytime before a song, we would hum the first note. And the guys will try to be farnie and sing "Hummmmmm, mee siam mai hummmmmm"..... Then after that, everybody would hum "Hummmmmmm" instead of the normal "Mmmmmmm"... so farnie!

And I have my first bouquet of flowers in my entire 26 years of existence :). So pretty leh!!!! Anyway, it was a fun nite and I hope to do more of it.

Maybe I should try to do more stuff in music and sell my life to the arts... or maybe not... hahahaha... :)

Someone Else's Story

Long ago, in someone else's story
Someone with my name
Who looked alot like me
Came to know
A man and made a promise
He only had to say
And that's where she would be

Lately although the feelings run just as deep
The promise she made has grown impossible to keep
And yet, she wish it wasn't so
Will he miss me if I go?

In a way
It's someone else's story
I don't see myself as taking part at all
Yesterday, a girl that I was fond of
Finally could see the writings on the wall
Sadly, she knew she's left him behind
But sadder than that she knew he wouldn't even mind
And though there's nothing left to day
Would he listen if I stay?

It's all very well to say you fool it's now or never
I could be choosing
No choices whatsoever

I could be in someone else's story
In someone else's life
And he could be in mine
I don't see a reason to be lonely
I should take my chances further down the line
And if that girl I knew should ask my advice
Oh I wouldn't hesitate she needn't ask me twice
Go now! I'd tell her that for free
Trouble is, the girl is me
The story is, the girl is me...

This is one of the most beautiful and sad songs I've ever heard. The lyrics are gorgeous aren't they?

My Brain's Full of Junk

My brain's all cluttered up recently... You know.. like everything's misty and hazy and I have no idea what I'm doing. And I'm thinking most of the time, but I don't know what I'm thinking. It's like one big mess. Wonder what the heck is wrong with me... Gee... It's like being on a carousel, going round and round, thinking about the same things over and over again and you can't get off and the ride is not fun anymore... It's times like this when you wish you are like Professor Dumbledore and you can remove your thoughts one by one and go through them, instead of letting them mingle and mix and cloud your brain... Gosh... I think junk too much. Argh.

That's y i need to get away... with my daughter (in case ppl think that I'm a single parent... my daughter is not my real daughter but this "hateful" creature who is older than me but look tons younger with peaches and cream complexion and luscious lips. Hahaha. Oh yeah, and currently she's plagued by a certain mr WOOHOO!) and find some peace and quiet and some grass. And the great blue ocean. Away from my everything to unclutter my unruly brain...

Spring Day

Watching this super sad korean drama every night... Y i bought this? Well... it's starring this guy me and zhi absolutely adored in Ba Li Dao De Gu Shi... It's actually a pretty dumb show... but the one bright spark made me pore through the entire plot was because of this actor Jeong Jae-min... Boy can he act...

Anyway the show I'm watching now is called Chun Ri... Yup... spring day (Speaking about Spring... CJ is going there...mmm)... except that it's not a happy idiotically impossible happy love story that I have watched before... It's more layered... and the characters are multi-dimensional and impossibly sad.

It's about this guy (Hao) who found himself in love with this girl who's actually his brother's girlfriend. And this all happened after his big brother got himself into an accident and was lying in a coma in the hospital right after he managed to find his mother whom he was estranged from since he was 10 because his parents divorced and his father married his mistress. And then... this is the interesting part... big bro woke up.... but lost all memory of himself after 13 years old... meaning he kinda went back to the past and became a small kid again... except that he's a 32 year old adult. Sounds all complicated... but the story is really very beautiful. Hao was forced to revisit his past because of his brother's illness... and come to terms with his relationship with his brother and father.... while gazing longingly at the girl who he can't have... very pretty.. and sad... ah well... this is what stories should be made of.... Life isn't always a bed of roses...

Jia You Go Go!!!

No more feeling down and tearing at the slightest things. Must be positive and work hard on my job and stop thinking crazy things. Jia You Go Go YH! Cannot be sad! Must be like the hopelessly cheerful girl in the Korean Drama!

I'm full of foolish songs and out my songs must pour....

I am super tired. Been singing the entire day and the day before in fact. And I must blog this today because this is a very interesting day in my life and in case I go senile and lose my memory tmr.

Day started at 10.45am. Met fellow choir mates at Tanjong Pagar mrt station. Walked to Ocean Butterfly recording studio (where a choir mate is a music producer there!!! So exciting!), and the choir practised in one of the dance studios there! WOW! Imagine! I was in the same room as where JJ was once before he got famous :)!!! Anyway, I have tons of pictures which I took with my inadequate phone camera and I will upload them on Monday when I can infra-red to my laptop. The excitement was high! We were going to compete later in the day at 4.30pm.

Since we were still early, we went down to the pacific coffee... Yes... ocean butterfly studio is located at the cool fire engine red building in shenton way. And it's a refuge from the madding working crowd. If you enter the bright blood red building, you will see gorgeous graffiti splashed all over the walls. Beautiful. I think this is what art is all about. (I suddenly remembered the graffiti we carved into our old NYJC benches... I think that was a work of art as well. Too bad the school decided to throw those all out... Sighs... the vandalism of countless batches of students gone just like that...) Anyway, we ate our late breakfast snuggled in warm cozy armchairs and talked about rubbish, which is how a great day should be spent. Then, at 11.45am, we went up to the studio and started to do some warm up exercises for our beloved vocal chords to get them well oiled and functional. Then we did a run through of our songs. Had a few hiccups here and there which had to be rectified. Our conductor looked abit worried and reminded us to follow him (meaning his actions) and the cheeky guys suddenly burst into " I will follow you, follow you wherever you may go...!!!" Hahahaha! The fun thing about choirs is that everybody is passionate about singing to the point of obsession... something which I was never able to link with anybody else in the past because nobody else I know like to sing. It's cool!

Finally lunch, which me and some girls decided to skip and we went around exploring and taking pictures of hai1 die2. JJ!!! Why didn't he appear?!! Sobs!

After that, final rehearsal and then... tada! Costume and makeup time. Walked into one of the rooms where the guys were changing and really caught a guy in the act of putting on clothes. He mocked scream and I went out.... -_-'''.... This is the first time I saw a whole row of women putting on makeup infront of the dance studio's huge mirror... Talk about vanity... Gee...

Competition.... everything was a blur... tried to remember to smile. Tried to be as alert as I could. Conductor looked like a dancing monkey. Haha :). But it was great. Once backstage, everybody were all high. We did an MPYC WHOOSH and thought that we did okay. So well... let's wait for the results tonight and see how we do. Cool....

Another wuliao conversation with the toopid bro...

Both of us were watching Hai1 De1 Er2 Zi3 in our living room...

Bro: I saw her (meaning the actress in the show, you know, the one from Malaysia) yesterday.
Me: Woooo... is she pretty?
Bro: No.
Me: Woooo... I'm prettier.
Bro: No.

After a pause...

Bro: Li Nanxing is the prettiest.

Me: ....

"I'm Hot" *roll eyes*

Came home from another musical (a much nicer one by kids), saw my idiot bro preparing to go out wearing a long sleeved black tshirt and black bermudas... and I said "You look hot."... which is a matter of fact comment that it's too hot a thing to wear on such a humid night. And he said,

"Yes, I'm HOT!"....

Yeah... and pigs fly...

OnE CraZy DaY

Woke up at 5.30am. Went to Work. Searched for Korean song sheet music during teleconference. Concussed at 8.30am. Big Issue came in at 11am. Headache and starting to worry a little at 11.30am. Tried to debug at 12.30pm but made little progress. Debugged and debugged and debugged but luckily there's help from team members :). Managed to know that it's not pca issue at 5.30pm. Dead Tired. But with a strange feeling of euphoria. Maybe cos' I don't have to go back to work tmr. Got a free ride from ah beng to Hougang Mall. Met my dear old NUS friends. All 4 of them, exactly the same as if we are back in our U days again. And our conversation topics seem to revolve around the same things too. Hehehe. Korean dramas and hunks... Hehehehe. Especially Tantan... EXACTLY the same but with manicured fingers :). I'm glad I'm getting more into the hang of Korean dramas and chinese music.. I feel that I can connect better with them all now... since last time I was the kang tan....

Tmr will be a bz day too... Gee... How can I keep all these up?... I need a week long escapade....

Cabaret Suxs... (Stupid Sian Suxs Bloody Hell)

Can anybody tell me what all the big hoo haa about Cabaret is all about. Gee... 2 times... it's the 2nd time I've been hoodwinked into watching a musical that sucks... ok... maybe not hoodwinked... but... the tixs dun come cheap and I would expect high returns from forking out my hard earned dough on these. Next time, I'll think twice about going to a local production that's untried and untested (unless Adrian Pang is in it), and will go for those that have raving reviews worldwide. This can't go on... please drop all those gimmicky, controversial, confusing ideas when choosing stories for musicals.... Please... the word musical spells good old healthy fun. No nudity, unnecessary sex scenes, or reference to erhem parts for goodness sake especially when it doesn't lead the story anywhere. Gee... I love musicals... but now... i'm kinda sick of them. But I like Emma Yong.... she was the one bright star in the show.... but she was bogged down by a script that's even weaker than Basic Instincts II....

Please bring the good old charm back into musicals...

SBG said bye when i said "Bye SBG"

Hahaha! Yes the superboy genius replied when I said "Bye SBG". Funny.

Princess Hours

Oh dear... new obsession... This is bad....

Fly Away

Fly away to another skin.
A tough one, a pretty one.
That won't let the madness in...
Won't let the sadness in...

I heard David sing this song in this video clip I downloaded. It sounded very sad and I think (I use the word "think" because the clip only had David sing a part of the song, hehehe) it's about this woman who was jaded with life. And it's times like this when I listen to it over and over again. Yes, I feel down and tired, though I try not to be :). But well... it's hard to stay cheerful all the time. Ok, yes yes yes, I know... I should be grateful for my doting parents and idiot bro, my bunch of wacky friends and the new friends I have made recently... and I'm glad. Glad to really know CJ (those Uni days don't count), Robarto Hantari, the Darth Vader Khoo and Ah Beng whom I'm glad is working hard now and seem less sian. Hahahaha. Plus, getting to go ktv with this bunch of crazy ppl who sits in the NEXT aisle for 3 years and yet hardly tried to get to know one another better till only recently. Fate sometimes work in funny ways, don't you think. Like me only getting to know Bao, Ms Lai, Zhi and Chunyu in JC (and we weren't in the same JC) and Uni even though we were classmates for years before that. Or that I'm drifting apart from my buddies who I chatted nonstop on the phone when I was a kid. The reason why I am talking about all these? I have no idea either... But ah well.... life goes on. Gambate ne! Tmr is another day.

A big big patch of earth with lots of grass would be very comforting now.... but since I can't have that, let's have David croon me another sad song. Tonite is wallow in misery night. Kekekeke.

A Big Big Piece of Grass and Not a Little Bit of Earth

A colleague mentioned to me one day about wanting to just lay down on the giant piece of grassland and just laze there the entire day.... which made me remember that long ago, whenever I felt sad... I would just imagine that I'm alone on this big piece of grass (with just a nice big tree) that extends miles and miles and that's all that I can see.... no buildings, nobody around. And the air is nice and cold... and I can really breathe...

Which brings me to my point. Bao, can we Perth in october? Please please please, pretty please with sugar and chocolate sprinklings and a Mraz cd? Haha.

A Little Night Music

The dinner at Hougang Mall with my daughter has been fruitful. I found a Lea Salonga broadway concert DVD selling at 12.90 bucks. Wohoo. It has all my favorite songs in it. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. This is what singing is all about. It's to pull the audience into another world :). And it kinda made me remember why I took up those musical theatre classes ages ago. Frightening to have to sing in front of a class.... alone. But... wooo... thrilling. Now I'm even more deteremined to go audition for the NAFA class in Nov. Wish me luck!

Anyway, Lea Salonga is the voice behind alot of the disney cartoons like Mulan and the Little Mermaid, plus she is the original Kim in Broadway's Miss Saigon. She has beautiful beautiful voice and the repertoire of songs in the dvd are the ones I like alot :-

1) Someone Else's Story from Chess
Heard this first at the Leigh McDonald little cabaret at esplanade and thought it was gorgeous.

2) Someone to watch over me from ... erm... no idea...
Been singing this for ages. I think I heard it in a Michael Ball album... But Lea Salonga did a wonderful job of this one. It was sung pretty softly with just a guitar. Never heard it sung like that before. One of my favorites in the concert.

3) I've Never Been in Love Before from Guys and Dolls
Pretty.

4) Nothing from a Chorus Line
Funny... and a little sad.... but it's a positive song that shouts if you want something so much, don't sit there. Do something.

5) I Don't Know How to Love Him from Jesus Christ Superstar
Wooh... I heard this a long time ago when Joanna Ampil came to town in a one night concert. She has a lovely voice and I think I like her better than Lea Salonga. My friend cried when she heard her sing On my Own from Les Miserables.

6) Sun and Moon from Miss Saigon
Ok... This song is not in the dvd but I like it alot. Initially I thought the lyrics were dumb... and maybe they are dumb... "You are sunlight and I moon. Joined by the gods of fortune. Midnight and high noon. Sharing the sky"... ok... right... first impression counts. The lyrics are dumb. Haha. I heard Lea sing it with David Campbell on the producers concert dvd. And they kissed! No wonder I like Joanna Ampil better. How dare she kiss my David. Erhem...

Sighs... I love good singing... Anyway, I bought a Rob Thomas cd too. Hehe. My musical tastes are extreme.... Gee... but Lonely no more sounds great. Plus he's cute.

Pirates of the Coffeebean vs Monkey Island

I vote for Monkey Island anyday! In case you have no idea what monkey island is. Well, it's a computer game about pirates by LucasArts that absolutely rocks... or rocked... since they haven't had any new monkey island game out in ages. Ever since I was a kid, I had an affinity with pirates. U know... like I get to play Monkey Island and know about the cat and nine tails and the jolly roger. Then I was enrolled into this British Council course (and mingled with rich kids) about pirates and even wrote a manuscript stained with coffee and burnt at the edges to talk about my make-pretend life marooned on an island by pirates (It was the best manuscript ever made I tell u!). Then I wrote a play about pirates and finding treasure and TA DA! Won the first price in the class for our fine piratesy acting of the play! Aye Aye Captain! All hands on deck!

Later, I moved on to reading this book called Frenchman's Creek by Daphne Du Maurier about the handsome frenchman pirate. Wohoo.. and now Pirates of the Carribean. SEE! I have an affinity with pirates. I must have been one in my past life... Not that pirates are fine creatures... Mmm... Anyway.. the show is too long. It has it's fine moments... like... whenever Johnny Depp goes onscreen as Captain Jack Sparrow, the kooky anti-hero to Orlando Bloom's handsome and bland erm... whatever his name his. Anyway, the story goes as what is expected... except towards the end where Elizabeth, played by the Keira Knightley, started to show abit of her dark side. Yes foolish men! Pretty girls are scheming! Bwahahahaha! But anyway, Bloom's marriage to her was interrupted halfway, so he still has a chance to call it off. Haha! Gee... these young ppl shouldn't rush into marriages without knowing each other well first....

Ok... out of point liao. Getting groggy. Catch the show. It's pretty good.

The Korean Drama Obsessed Freak Mum

*was forced by mum to remove unflattering pic*

Please... my mum is degenerating into a couch potato drunk on korean drama. See.... seee!!! She's like totally glued to the tv. My gosh... If she stays like this, she will be senile by the time she's 50. Gosh.

Random Bloggings....

Aiyoh. Dear friends, please don't read too much into my blog. It's just some of my thinkings at some particular time on a particular day and they fade soon after. Frankly, they aint really meant to be discussed (and I don't like to talk about them as well) but please drop a little comment online if you have things to say, preferably nice things. Bloggings are just random musings and well... not very important. Take them with a pinch of salt please. :)

My Little Bro

Little brothers are so perplexing. They hide in their rooms, come home only in the wee hours of the morning, make us so worried, stay immature even though they are in their 20s and yet we still treat them like the apples of our eyes. Argh. Idiot Bro.

2nd Teenagerhood

It has been ages since I've been so hua chi... And to think that I have mocked girls who are kooky over Korean stars. I'm one of them now... Gee... Anyway, I asked my mum how come S'pore dun have guys who are so handsome and nice. And this is what she said, " Got what! My son lor." I was like... Huh?!... Parents are really delusional... But I think the world's sexiest boy would be happy to know that at least one "girl" in this world thinks the same as he does himself. Hoho...

Save the Last Dance for Me

Yes... I'm totally obsessed with this show. Can somebody get it out of my system? I mean... it's like a little over the top but well... they tried so hard to be together that you die die have to root for them. The girl is those sweet sweet demure kind and the guy is *swoon*. Well... you get my flow. They are made for each other!!! Hope they end up together!!!

Musical BBQ at East Coast

Hoho, went for a bbq at East Coast today with my choir mates. I must say it was a good bbq. Usually I don't like bbq. I don't like having to cook in front of smoky hot charcoal and getting my face oily and my hair stinky. But well today, we have chefs. All the guys cooked, and all the girls have to do is to sit there and get fed. Feels really great. Haha. And not only do the guys cook... they sing and cook. Which is pretty great, cos' it's like an outdoors cum live band dinner. Cool!

Anway, we played this game ... u know.. the lian zhi game... example you say a chen yu... then somemore has to use the last word to say another chen yu... ok... we wuliao... but it was fun. Anway... i suck at it... i am so bad, i think i totally massacred the chinese language. But there was one time I was really proud of myself. I had to think of a chen yu with the word "Qu4"... u know... as in GO in english. So I said, " Qu4 ni ma de"... kekekeke... ok... there goes the image of a nice sweet girl i've been trying to portray going down the drain again. I blame my colleagues for polluting me.

Ok, tmr is another day to celebrate kong's bday... then back to work. Sighs... nevermind, I will think about work on Mon morning.

Boy with the red umbrella bladed off into the sunset.... with another girl... sobs :'(

Ah well....

Should have known that knights with red umbrellas don't exist for stepsisters.

A JJ Weekend

Gee... I've an overdose of JJ. Enough is enough. No more JJ for at least 2 weeks. Man... I went for his concert on sat and was dragged to see his qian chang hui on sun. I mean... I like him and his voice is great, but... well... I like simple songs, a nice little orchestra, soaring voices... but Sat was too over the top. Where is the nice, tshirt-wearing (yes, we all agree that singlets don't suit JJ) boy next door with the gorgeous voice? Instead he was belting out all his dancing songs and the loudspeaker and screaming girls nearly blew my eardrums out. Girls... hold on to your horses... we are here to listen to him sing, not to compete with him to see who can sing a higher note. ARGH. Can't stand screaming girls. Or maybe cos' I'm pass the screaming age... come to think of it... I screamed alot at track and field events last time... Hmmmm.... Anyway... stop screaming... bad for voice... will get nodules...

But there was this nice little segment where JJ played on his piano and sang... yes... just the nice little piano and the nice little boy with the pretty voice. Simple, clean... sleek. 10 points! I enjoyed that most.... Perhaps I'm old fashioned... but I think nice little simple concerts does it best for me. Like Corrine May's recent concert. Good old fashioned singing + great band = Wonderful night. Or that musical concert I went long time ago, with Joanna Ampil singing "On my Own"... it was so magical. Sighs.....

But all in all... I had fun. Great to see a fellow Singaporean sing so well and make it big as well. Gambate JJ!!! Wo Hui Yong Yuan Zhi Ci Ni!!!!

Are fairytale weddings a fairytale for me :'(

Went to a fairytale wedding today. It's like those stuff made in movies. Rich guy meets pretty girl and they live happily ever after. I sometimes think that mushy weddings are meant to antagonise single people... to make them feel so envious that they can't sleep at night or turn green with envy. Hehe. Yeah yeah, i know lar, actually they just want to share their happiness with the people around them and I'm being a wet blanket. But going to hit the big 2-6 in 3mths time means that my chance of being like the happy couple is going down exponentially, much as I hate to admit it and, yes, as much as the guys in the office like to tease me about. But well, life goes on... even if my prince charming didn't prance out to rescue me... I'll still gambate and sing and laugh. As I always say :- As long as I can sing, things will be fine. :)

To go or to stay?

No no no, I'm not deciding whether to ditch my other half (if there's one), haha, but yeah, in another sense... my job is my other half.... since I camp almost half my life in my cube surrounded with half dismantled printers and tons of PCAs. There was a time when I was truly enthusiastic about all these and wish that I was a super guru obsessed with electronics and that I can see - see how the electrons flow and breathe EMI. But since I was a super goondu when I first started out, with hardly anybody to turn to, and the new guys around me were talking about PCB, 6 layer boards, vias, USB and so on... I felt small and stupid, cos' all of were oddly unfamiliar to me. Yes, I didn't even know what a USB cable was. I was that technologically backward. Amazing why they hired me. KEKEKE.

Anyway, it was at that period whereby I made an oath. When one day, ONE DAY (I repeat), when I finally become slightly more knowledgeable than any newbies and they need my help... I will TEACH them, no matter how idiotic they are. Cos' I know how it feels like to be lost and lonely and stupid. In case I have rotten tomatoes thrown at me... No, I haven't met anybody who is an imbecile (Why I use a BIG word "imbecile" is because super boy genius called somebody an imbecile today and that word keeps ringing in my brain) who needs my help. But there are times when I was able to provide some assistance, and it sometimes feels great, cos' I have become kinda good at something to give help :). So well, those days of datasheet reading and board designing has honed me quite a bit, and I'm glad. But the thing is, do I still want to do this? Or go somewhere else and try something else? I have new roles coming up, but frankly... I'm not all that keen. I feel like a bird who's safe in a nice cage with food and shelter, but I'm aching to spread my wings and take in newer sights.

Fly away, meadowlark
Fly away in the silver morning
If I stay, I'll grow to curse the dark
So it's off where the days won't bind me
I know I leave wounds behind me
But I won't let tomorrow find me
Back this way

The Boy with the Red Umbrella is Back!

Yes, remember my knight with the red umbrella who defended me through hordes of traffic on one great fine day when I was totally almost ready to give up on ever meeting a gentlemanly guy? Yes, he's back at choir, very hard at work learning the new songs for the upcoming competition and looking happy and cheerful. Guys with a positive attitude, winning smile and a gorgeous voice are always so attractive. :D Yes David Campbell is in the list too!

Dear old lao kok kok Dad

Yes, I'm the daughter that never buys any father's day present for her daddy. Or even make much of an effort to remember my dad's birthday. My little idiot bro is even worse. So yup, we are 2 overpampered grownup kids who take everything for granted and just like the Peanuts characters, we are more overcome with anxieties than worrying about our needs.

My dad is classic manager material. If not for him being born in the wrong time and if he was given better education, he would probably be super successful. I wouldn't say he is amazingly intelligent, but he is sharp and works smart and hard. Plus, he keeps his mind positive and continues to upgrade himself even though he is already lao kok kok. Haha. All in all, I believe these qualities are enough to make a person do pretty well in work and life. So well, he's the guy who makes me guilty when I complain about my work or become depressed with my "shitty" life. He will wear his lao hua spectacles which are slightly dropping down his nose, look over the rims and say "Yi ge ren kai bu kai xin dou shi quan kao ta zhi zi." Or the more memorable one when I was really upset over something which I can't remember now and he told me " Bu guan fa sheng se mo si, tai yang hai shi cong xi bian shang lai, ne de ba ba hai shi ne de ba ba, ne de ma ma hai shi ne de ma ma." Ok... it may sound cheesy now, but when you hear it when you are going through a crisis, it is like a wall of strength.

Even today, he will sit on the sofa after he gets home, read the straits times with the highlighter, and highlight words he can't understand and checks the dictionary on the side table for these words. Man, and me bro and I were like cleopatra lying on the couches watching bimbotic tv shows. Anyway, what I want to say is that... well, my dad is great. And thanks to him and my kooky mum, me bro and I are brought up pretty well. And when I lapse into moments of unhappiness or when life seems to keep hurling smelly laundry at me, I will try to keep my disposition cheerful and my mind happy. Gambate ne!

Singing in the Rain

I love to sing, but I have just ended my lessons with my voice teacher of 2 years cos' -

(1) It's ex.
(2) I'm simply too tired especially after I joined choir that my health was taking a nosedive.

But now, after 2 weeks of no lesson, I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms. Things like "Will I forget everything I have learnt", "Gee, I have nothing to do at night" and "I need my security blanket lessons to remind me things I should and should not do". Those weekly hourly lessons often badly bruise my ego, since my teacher is those crazy loud super obnoxious person who is overconfident with her craft. She'll scream loud things in her big operatic voice like "You call that singing?! I don't even know what you are doing!" or "Can you remember what I always tell you?!!!"... yup... and you get the flow.... I don't particularly like her voice... well... cos'... I don't really care much for opera, but man, can she teach. She knows exactly what you need correcting and what you are doing wrong, so every week was like a relearning session and I go away feeling that I have corrected more mistakes in my singing. Now... I feel lost and there's nobody I can turn to to talk about singing... Geez... I feel insecure....

I think I'll go home and write down all that she has told me.... yup... that's it.... that's what I should do.... lost... lost... lost... lost....

Mutant Scaredy Cat

Yes I'm mutant Scaredy Cat...

I'm scared of proximity.
Scared of people who treat me too nicely.
Scared when I'm given too much attention.
Scared of making the wrong choice.
Scared of being alone.
Scared of being with the wrong person.
Scared that my intuition is telling me the wrong things.
Scared of taking a chance.
Scared of making a decision.
Scared and always pushing everyone away.

What's wrong with me?
I need a cure.

Please douse my quick tempered fire...

Since young, I've been plagued with a quick temper, either inherited from my papa or because I'm a spoilt little brat, overpampered by my protective parents. And once again, I lost my cool just now... When my lead called me with a sharp tone and I let that little devil inside me loose again and I started to breath funny, my heart pumps faster, my brain gets clouded and my tongue is totally out of control. Yes... words poured out even before my brain could analyse them. I have a wicked tongue, probably honed by the 2 years in JC whereby I had to out-insult this bitch (pardon me) who was in the same class as me to prevent myself from constantly getting put down. I remembered I even sang "You bitch , you bitch you are such a bitch" to her. Haha, haiz... silly me me having done all those stupid things.

Argh... I wish I can be perpetually cool. I wish I can be like Robarto and remain smiling and unfazed even though I have tons of issues assaulting me from all sides. I wish I'm more patient.... Next time, I must take a minute to breath and extinguish my anger before I open my mouth. Yes... *fingers crossed*

Dedicated to ....

Freaking menboys
Crazy over toys
Like to brag and like to boast
Mad about cars and women and sex
Love to make jokes about boobs and crap

Freaking menboys
Please grow up
Cos' you are nearing 40
And your boobs are already c cup
Give those around you some peace
And stop those giggling, my god... please...

Freaking menboys
My oh my...
Please grow up
And you'll be fine.

Stuck in JB

Yes... how I wish for this to end... stuck in a birddunlayegg place, on standby in case something screws up. Sighs... working life sometimes suxs. How I sometimes envy friends who don't have to work... but well... the money is good... and I need it.

Since I have nothing to do and is half starving, I shall post the pictures I secretly took in RJC and VCH. The picture above is taken in LT2 in RJC for all of you dimwits out there who have never NEVER and WILL NEVER step into RJC... that's what it looks like.


This other picture is taken in Victoria concert hall before the concert began. We were suppose to go earlier for some last minute rehearsal but I was too early... So poor little me sat alone in the dark hall and secretly took some pictures.

Lazy Laid Back Saturday

It's a lazy saturday. I haven't had a lazy saturday for so long. Usually I have to meet friends, go for choir, stay out till super late... But no... this saturday, I had piano lesson in the morning (And I am learning the Forest Gump music, which is gorgeous!), strolled around Hougang mall and watched the town folks wake up and open their stores, with the morning sun shining merrily down. Life should be like this... laid back, unhurried, warm and happy. Sale signs were sprouting out everywhere because of the GSS. Sighs.... this is life... no stress... no worries... just peace and calm....

I went back home and chatted online with friends, watched Jimmy Neutron at 12 noon and then fell asleep. Slept till 4pm, woke up, watched tv and played the piano (multitasking, kekeke). Feel more rested than I have been in weeks and feeling prettier too even though I'm makeupless and dressed in scruffy tshirt and shorts. Beauty sleep does alot for your spirits... Then I was hit by a sudden decision to watch X-men2, so I turned on my dvd player and sipped coke while watching Hugh Jackman run about in a singlet. Haha. As Guru Erwin always say, "Relak lar".

Chill.

Requiem

Yes yes yes, my first real choir performance in a real theatre with real paying audience (sorta real even though they are mostly people we know). Yup, fun. But it's also slightly empty as well... like after having practised like crazy for the past week, bang, bright lights, music, singing and it's all over.
But anyway, yes, a small little part of my dreams is fulfilled. I have MY NAME in a programme... well... i was hoping it was in a Les Miz or Miss Saigon programme, but... well... for now... and maybe forever, this will do. If you look really carefully, that's my name on the first row!!! :D

And we performed with the RJC orchestra. Dear Tantan and Yuling... I will no longer mock you two for having chased after idols in your RJC days... I can see that yes... there are many idol-worthy guys there. I should have worked harder last time and tried to enter RJC (though I think it would still be near impossible). The 1st and 2nd violinist was darn cool! Especially the 1st violinist may I add... even my papa who has never remotely hinted that his son is handsome said that "that guy very yan dao". Hahaha! Darn... should have studied harder last time.

You are the one who seem to let your body rule your mind. If that's what being grown up means then please leave me behind.

I remember this line from Aspects of Love. Where little Jenny told Alex that if being grown up means trading in love for sex (she discovered his fling with Jiulietta) , then he should very well let her go.

I thought about this line after going down with 2 of my married colleagues to do some offsite testing which is horrendous, but that's another story. Anyway, I hear quite a few jokes, indirect references to sex... etc. Actually there's nothing overly raunchy and I guess they did try to tone down cos' I was there. But maybe I'm tired. But I feel slightly sick. Sick of men. Sick of the word horny. Sick of people talking about sex. Just... sick. I've nothing against talking about sex. I mean... sometimes conversation topics related to sex are very interesting. As in the recent one I had about AIDS. How come only those third world country ppl seems to be dying like flies from AIDS and not Hollywood stars. I mean... can condom really do sooooo much?! Or maybe US has already discovered the magic formula against AIDs but they are only dispensing it out to hollywood stars... Or about my friend's friend who is named Harry Kwok with chinese name Yit Chin. I mean... these are funny.... and interesting.

Argh, I don't know... sometimes a male environment is so suffocating. I can't breathe. Just want to get out. Get away from guys in tshirt and belted jeans who talk loudly. Get away from listening to weird sex jokes or bikini babes or FHM or RPG online games. Just want to get away. I'm fond of my loud talking team mates and I know they have been very nice to me. Sometimes they make me smile... but sometimes... sometimes they make me wonder why people get married in the first place if all guys are like that...

If that's what being grown up means, then please leave me behind.

What I pasted on the door after I brushed my teeth and washed my face...

What I saw early this morning hanging from the door next to my room...

Jimmy Neutron Boy Genius

Yes, my next obsession. Jimmy Neutron, the boy genius with the acorn shaped head. Catch him on Nicklelodeon on Sat and Sun at 12noon. Boy is he cute!!! Look at that head! Where can I get all the dvd of this madcap cartoon! I must have them! Anyway, more about the series next time. Need to get some beauty sleep. Nites :)!

X-Men The Last Stand

Man, do I love X-Men! I remember when I was in secondary school and saturday was an endless wait because they showed x-men cartoon in the morning. Misunderstood mutants trying to come to terms with their special powers and striving to find peace and acceptance with fellow humans. It may seem like a dumb super creatures special effects kind of comics, but I thought alot of the issues they were tackling seem pretty similar to what we have in the real world.... Ostracism due to race, religion, etc... ok... well... maybe I think too much... but... I could kinda relate to it.

Anyway, X-Men the movie is going to show and the person I LOVE LOVE LOVE must in the film is Hugh Jackman. Why I love him so much?! Because I caught him in Oklahoma on artscentral before and he could sing and smoke at the same time. Which is a mind blowing trick! Cool. The second reason I like him so much was because during an interview, he spoke fondly of his wife (He called her his other half) and he seems so much in love... which is very sweet. I mean... how many people in Hollywood stays married. I say he has his head and heart in the right place. And the third reason is cos'... well... I like Australians... like David... they have this.... earthly... environmentally friendly.... laid back kind of vibe.... like a cool comfortable confidence. Well... he rocks :)!

Anyway, the only complaint I have of the X-Men movie is "Where the hell is Gambit?!" I adored Gambit in the cartoon. The cool cocky guy who can make playing cards blow up in the enemies faces. He and Rouge used to have this love-hate forbidden relationship which is sooooo darn addictive to watch. Gee... now we have Iceman in the movie... well... he's kinda cute as well. Haha. Ok, enough of my miserable musings. I will catch X-Men soon. Peace on earth and love all mutants. Ciao.