I am sad. Had a bad day at singing class today. Totally can't sight sing to save my life. And my voice teacher looked at me as if I'm mental again... x_x. I suxs. I tried to explain to the Quah the reason I feel so upset and why singing is so important to me. And he looked at me as if I were mental too. x_x....Here's the story. It happened ever since the day I saw Les Miz when I was in secondary school. I wanted to be Eponine on stage. I wanted to be in the bloody spotlight and have my voice touch every heart in the hall that night. And from then on, I tried to move towards my dream. So much so that I tried too hard and lost my voice for a good 2 years. I kinda fell into depression then and took up piano instead to distract my attention away from singing. But I can't stop! So I decided to give it another shot again and got this really really fierce chinese voice teacher who screamed, " YOU CALL THIS SINGING?", every lesson. I didn't think much of her singing too ... but I wanted to learn as much as I can. So I NINJA REN. Till I managed to get into a youth choir and I sacked her. BWAHAHAHA! Tried that for nearly two years and got abit tired of the hectic schedule plus I hooked up a beng... so no time. So I went back to voice lessons which were more relaxed. Thought I finally found a teacher who has a lovely voice and is nice and patient then BAM!, she has to go Boston to further her studies... And now I have a teach who is so young... and somehow... made me realise that my dream will forever be a dream. I'm 6 years older than her and my standard is not even anywhere near her yet... Will I ever make it? Doesn't take a genius to figure that maths out I guess.
Much as I love to sing... I'm not too talented I guess... :'(. I probably have to stoop inside the lousy climatics chamber in the office and work as a lowly engineer forever because I'm not much good at my job too. I'm not good at anything. I'm sad.
"And he sang from his heart.
And he sang from his soul.
He did not know how well he sang.
It just made him whole..."
3 comments:
How it seems reality loves tempering designers' dreams & leave the designers oft misunderstood.
BUT...
Remember how your heart palpitated when you saw that printer (that one you had a hand in bringing to form) on the market shelves?
Remember how your soul soared with pride when you tell of the cool things you learnt in the lab that others enclosed in their cubes never did?
You just did not know how well you did.. yes. you did well.
*Applauds*
i can empathise with you. Everyone has his or her ups and downs. But love yourself for who you are. Nobody can take that away from you! Let's meet for lunch or dinner one of these days ya?
wah, at least you got into a choir loh, so it means you have it in you right? if i can ever get into a orchestra in the far future i'll be super duper happy loh. i dun even want to be in the spotlight, but just to be able to make music with a whole bunch of other peeps i'll be happy. cheer up and enjoy the process, singing isn't meant to make you despondent like that. It's your passion, remb?
Post a Comment