Resolutions for 2012...

LOSe WEigHT!!!

Dreary...

Sighs... Licking my wounds. Lick slurp.

A Sense of Worth

It's strange how certain things start to bother me. How my job title does not have a "Senior" stamped in front... How I fumbled slightly when I was asked a technical question when I was caught off guard... How my son did not rush to the door to greet me when I reach home... How I am not THE BUSINESS but the back office... How my salary haven't or may never reach the big 5 ... yesyes... don't laugh. How my weight keep hovering around 65kg...

Yes. These irritate me. The big 3-0 has opened its doors to me and I see 4-0 waving at me from the far end of the corridor and still I have not achieved that elusive "something" I think I need to achieve to feel that I have not wasted all these time.

I need to feel my worth. Sighs.

Happily Ever After :D

We were chatting during lunch today and talking about weddings and gate crashing and so on. Then it occurred to me that I'm a much happier person after getting married and even happier with Little J. Even though life is bloody hectic, I have a doting beng who is always supportive of what I do. I have a little boy whom I rush home to see everyday and I can't wait to go through all his growing up stages together with the beng... I have a dream I am working towards.

On a night like this when I can sit back and take a breather and drop all my worries, I feel strangely contented. Life tastes pretty good. Yummy. :D

My Little Bro

I just read my little bro's blog and it suddenly occurred to me that despite being super studious and getting pretty decent grades for my exam as compared to my brother, I am actually not the brainy nor the gutsy one in the family. He is.

So kudos to good grades and breezing through school. I guess what is most important is having a resilient and uncluttered mind and sticking to what you believe in. This I gotto learn from him.

Escape from Monkey Island

Reading Bao's new blog made me reflect about myself. I am the type of person who likes to have my cake and eat it... I want everything to fall into place nicely and hate to get out of my comfort zone, which I guess led me to where I am now... I wish I can feel that much enthusiam about what I do...

I guess what I have to do now is to keep reminding myself to find back my passions... rediscover my love for reading, writing and music and see how I can steer my life towards them again and find meaning in what I do. I have been drifting in the electronics junkyard for too long. Must find my way out of the garbage. But first, I am tired... need... my.... bed... and regain my energy bars.....

On days like this... I need a nice cup of hot chocolate...

And curl up into a ball and feel sorry of myself. :'(

Perplexed

Finally I managed to type something. And.... my son just wailed... and the moment has passed again. Ah well, I will just try again another day.

Reminiscing....

An msn conversation with Robert...

Robertus says:
we just ilke and old people remembering the good young days

*PiANoHoNG* says:
we are old liao mah
parents already leh
last time so young and blur
the world was our oyster
now we open the oyster but inside only got sand
no pearl

Robertus says:
nevermind fresh oyster also nice

*PiANoHoNG* says:
......
HAHA

yummy

Whiny Me

I'm whiny and I know it. I'm here eating an entire piece of cheesecake by myself when I should be dieting. I should get more sleep but I can't and being tired makes me more whiny. I have classes to attend, exams to prepare, milk to pump, cries to soothe and I need some private time.

I need a time out.  

Starting a new Journey with Little J

I've been finding it hard to cope with the newcomer in my life. The self centered me finds little time for myself - something which I value and need alot since I'm working towards a career switch. But this little boy cries and demands for my attention almost every minute of the day (and night) and it was nearly driving me nuts.

After 2 months of struggling and sleep deprivation, I guess I'm slowly getting the hang of things and it is heart warming to have a cute little face smiling up and making happy squealing sounds from the hammock when I'm home.

Life is going to be tougher now for me and the Quah, but I guess it will be more interesting too... Let's see. :)

Round in circles I go....

Isn't it queer that the things that you usually look forward to are often disappointing when they arrive? And that lessons that maybe you have not quite overcome in the past always coming back to haunt you? Here I go again... back to the same situation over and over again. I probably only have myself to blame. Sighs.

Our Little Boy Jarrett

Courtesy of Auntie... okok.. not auntie... sister Frances

You have no idea how much disruption this little boy has caused to our lives.... My house is in a mess. My bank acct is decreasing. My sleep is disrupted. And I am under so much stress to learn how to handle him. Help!

Obsessive Compulsive Mummy (OCM)

I don't know if I will become one of them.... U know... mummies who post multiple similar pictures of their kids on facebook every second of the day, have blogs of their babies doing first person narrative, talk about their kids every minute and so on and so forth. Even though I am heavily pregnant now... I am still kinda turned off by all these blatant displays of unadulterated affection for their little salivating bundles and their need to share their love to the world at large... who probably find all babies alike...

But somehow, I am not sure if my feelings will change... I heard that everything goes topsy turvy when you set eyes on your little bundle of joy and it's like you will be kana blessed or cursed with OCM. Maybe I will be the most fanatical of the lot. I will post even things like poop and regurgitated milk and thinks the world of my little boy who manages to accomplish all that. Yikes... the thought is freaking me out. But then again... once I have OCM... it's unimaginable what else I can do. Hohohoho... scary.

Late Addition to my New Year Resolution

Since there are already some points in my old list that I probably cannot fulfil this year. I thought I need to add something important that I have to constantly remind myself to be this year:-

Be Gutsy and Confident.

Guess I have always been putting myself across to people as more quiet and timid. It's time to hear this Leo ROAR.

*GROWL GROWL*

Reaction from a little boy to another little boy about my tummy

"Wah Seh, pregnant leh!"